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What You Plant Within Is What Life Seeks For You

Lately, something has become clearer to me.

We truly carry everything within us. Life is not first happening “out there.” It is cultivated within — in the subconscious, where our inner universe lives.

In his book Mind Magic, Dr. James R. Doty describes how the subconscious mind shapes perception, behaviour, and ultimately the reality we experience. It is within this deeper layer of awareness that our inner world is formed and continuously reinforced.

A metaphor from that perspective helped me understand this more deeply — the relationship between the archivist and the bloodhound.

Imagine that inside you there is an archivist. The archivist represents the subconscious mind. It carefully stores your repeated thoughts, emotional patterns, conclusions about life, and the silent beliefs you carry. What you return to again and again becomes filed away in your inner archive — your internal universe.

Then there is the bloodhound.

The bloodhound does not question what is stored. It simply tracks. It searches. It follows scent.

And what scent does it follow?

Whatever has been placed in the archive.

There was a time when I began to turn inward more intentionally.

Not because something dramatic happened. Not because life fell apart. But because I noticed I was tired of living from constant mental noise.

Last year, much of my inner movement was about finding a steadier place inside myself. I’ve called it an inner kingdom before, but in reality it was something very simple: a quieter inner ground. A place where stress softened and something more stable took its place.

I didn’t arrive there through achievement. I arrived there by slowing down. By paying attention. By letting go of the need to constantly push.

The Kingdom within

There is an ancient idea that has echoed through centuries:

The kingdom is within you. Creation begins within. What you believe, you become.

If we read old scriptures carefully, including the teachings attributed to Jesus, we find a simple but powerful message: what we experience externally is deeply connected to what we hold internally. Faith, clarity, and intention are not passive states. They are creative forces.

And yet, in modern life, another question arises:

What if someone is steering the narrative? What if we are being influenced — by culture, systems, upbringing, collective programming?

The honest answer is: we are. We are shaped by society. We inherit beliefs, norms, fears, ambitions. We often run on an inner autopilot built from what we have absorbed.

So the real question is not whether influence exists. It is: how conscious are we of it?

We have learned to create from strategy rather than from a living feeling.

From Strategy to Living Feeling

To express oneself from an inner feeling is essential for most people. Yet, for a long time, we have been trained in the opposite – to think our way forward, to plan, optimize, and follow methods. To figure out how life should work, instead of sensing what actually wants to take form.

When Methods Stop Working

When I began to study myself through Human Design, many things fell into place. I understood why so much had not worked for me, even though I had done everything “right.” I had cleaned, cleared, structured, and tried to manifest according to instructions. Still, the living sense of flow was missing.

When we plant a seed because we wish for something to grow, we are not down in the soil checking what is happening. We don’t dig it up to see if roots have started to form.

We simply make sure there is enough moisture. We water – not too much, not too little – because too much care can be just as harmful as too little. Then we allow time to do what only time can do.

There is something deeply impersonal in this. The seed is not trying to become our idea of what it should be. It follows its own intelligence, its own movement. And we are simply allowed to witness it – with care, and with wonder.

It is the same with what we wish to take form in our lives. First, we choose what we want to plant. Then we plant it. And after that, our task is surprisingly simple: to give it attention, not pressure. Presence, not performance.

When Perfect Isn’t About Being Flawless

What if perfect is not about being flawless. What if perfect is about being human.

What if what we think went wrong is actually what went right. What if what didn’t turn out quite right in our eyes is the very thing that truly touched us.

When We Are Too Close to See

I was thinking about this recently when I sent out a newsletter and forgot to change the subject line. Afterwards I saw it immediately — how could I miss that? And yet, at the same time, I felt something else: in a strange way, that subject line belonged there anyway. Sometimes we become blind when we are too close. Sometimes we simply do things. And life continues to carry them.

There is a subtle shift that happens when we stop trying to force life forward
and instead allow ourselves to be carried by it.

From Forcing to Allowing

For a long time, I tried to make things happen.
In my writing. In my process. In myself.
Pushing ideas forward, shaping them with effort rather than listening for what wanted to come through.

Finding My Own Rhythm

Something has softened.

In that softening, I found my own way of writing — not by following how others do it, but by trusting my own rhythm. Choosing my own path instead of a mainstream one.

Since early autumn, I can feel how much has loosened in my writing — not because I tried harder, but because I stopped. I allowed myself to be inspired. I allowed the flow. I took one step at a time.

One book came into being that way. - Living in deep anchoring.
And without effort, another one is already on its way — Coming Home.

I let the source within choose.

When Structure Overpowers Sensitivity

A few years ago, I attended a conference about starting a business and creating income. At that time, I was already in a period of inner transition — sensitive, open, and aware of subtle shifts in energy. What I noticed very clearly was a tension in the room. A collision of energies.

There was a strong focus on structure, concepts, methods, and replication. How to do it “right.” How others had done it. How to package, scale, and sell.

And while none of that is wrong in itself, something in me quietly withdrew.

Intellect or Inner Source?

I am sensitive to the difference between what is created from the intellect and ego — and what is born from the inner source. From feeling. From truth. From the part of us that already knows

When Something Begins to Clarify

There is a lot happening right now.
It is going deeper, and it is becoming clearer.

I wrote the sections for Lillbjörn’s Journey Toward Christmas. It is resting a little to the side for now, but it is there. I notice how important it has become for me to listen — to signals, to what my attention is drawn toward, and above all to what is being stirred within me.

Creating Without Performance

When I began working on the Christmas calendar book, it was as if something awakened. I wasn’t trying to perform, as I have done before. There was no project to get right, no goal to reach — only playfulness, something joyful and light. I could sit and laugh out loud by myself as I wrote.

Just being is underrated. Right now I’m in a season where it truly is about simply being—and the question is: what does that actually mean?

We live in a world where we’re constantly fed ideas about how life should be. The mainstream delivers concepts, strategies, and recipes. And sure—I love inspiration. Some of the teachers I return to again and again are Eckhart Tolle, Abraham Hicks, and Joe Dispenza. They remind me of something essential: to create momentum, to give myself space, and maybe… to let life be created through us, too.

Because sometimes it doesn’t feel like the problem is a lack of gas—rather that the handbrake is still on. And when we release it, life starts to move.

Manifesting—and then what?

I often get emails about how we should create our lives: manifest, set intentions, write goals, visualize.

But then?

When we’ve done all that… what’s the next step?

I think this is where many of us get lost.

Because the next step isn’t always to do more. Not to plan more. Not to force a result. Often, the next step is to relax into receptivity.

To hold an intention—without gripping it.

When life can’t be forced

Through my studies of Human Design, one idea landed deeply:

That a large part of us don’t function optimally when we try to willpower our way through life. That we may do better by asking for what we desire, releasing resistance, and waiting for the response.

And when I look back on my own life… that’s exactly how it has worked.

Things arrive when it’s time.

They can’t always be pushed into place.

Yes, it can be frustrating. And that’s often when we start making up life—instead of allowing it to unfold. We fill the in-between with control, worry, or new projects that are really just a way to avoid the feeling of not knowing.

Detta var året då ett huvudtema har varit att söka himmelriket – och när det fick ta plats, föll också allt det andra på plats. Att hitta in till den absoluta friden. Lugnet. Ron. Och det där stilla pirret i kroppen.

När jag ser tillbaka kan jag känna hur det faktiskt blev så. Att söka det inre, och samtidigt tillåta verkligheten att få ta plats precis som den är. Många nya verktyg har kommit in i mitt liv, men kanske ännu viktigare – tillåtelsen att bejaka alla delar av mig själv. Strukturen får finnas när den behövs, men jag behöver inte längre förlora mig i den.

Det var när jag släppte taget som en annan verklighet av kreativitet började ta form. Bland annat genom LillBjörns resa mot julen, som också fick leva vidare med två avsnitt in i det nya året. Ett skapande som inte pressades fram, utan som fick växa fram i sitt eget tempo.

När vi släpper motståndet och öppnar oss, händer något nästan magiskt. Det är som om något där inne – något som länge har väntat – äntligen får sträcka på sig, andas och ta form. När vi släpper taget om hur och ibland till och med vad, kan det som bor inom oss få uttryckas på sitt eget sätt. Det vill förverkligas, inte forceras.

Jag har själv, under lång tid, funderat på vad jag ska göra "när jag blir stor". Jag har gjort visionboards, ritat upp drömmar och försökt förstå vad som egentligen kallar på mig. Men den stora frågan har alltid varit:

Är det förankrat där inne? Vill hela jag – eller är det bara delar av mig som längtar?

Länge lät jag det yttre styra: bilder, idéer, attribut. Jag har alltid haft lättare att rita det jag ser utanför mig än det jag känner inom mig. Att skapa från insidan har varit svårt, nästan ovant – som att försöka lyssna på ett språk jag inte riktigt lärt mig än.

Men något har förändrats.

Nu börjar det komma inre bilder, tydliga impulser, färger och former som vill ut på papper. Det är en ny sorts rörelse, som om något djupt i mig äntligen fått grönt ljus att uttrycka sig.

För en dryg månad sedan började jag rita NeuroGraphica varje dag. Linjer, former och energier som speglar mitt inre tillstånd, inte mina prestationer. Jag började också skriva ned vad jag önskar uppleva – och ännu viktigare:

Vilka sinnestillstånd jag vill vara i när jag upplever livet.

Det har öppnat dörrar.

Plötsligt vill jag testa nya redskap. Pennor, gouache, tusch och Touch-markers som väntar på att få bli mina medhjälpare. Det känns som början på ett nytt sätt att skapa – ett sätt där det inre äntligen får leda.

Och det är likadant med livet.

När något inom oss vill ta ett nytt uttryck, blir det så tydligt att vi inte längre kan leva på det gamla sättet. Det vanda blir trångt. Det ovana börjar kännas bekant. Och det som är äkta börjar leta sig fram som vårens första skott genom marken.

Det är då vi växer.

Det är då livet blir levande. Och det är då vi börjar skapa från vårt sanna jag.

Det märkte jag också när Lillbjörns Jul kom till mig. Den sagan var aldrig planerad, aldrig konstruerad – den bara dök upp, som ett varmt andetag från en plats jag inte visste att jag bar på. Orden, bilderna, karaktärerna… allt kom i ett flöde, som om Lillbjörn redan fanns och bara väntade på att få stiga fram. Det var första gången jag verkligen kände hur det inre kan tala när man låter det göra det.

Och nu händer samma sak igen. Det är som om något mer där inne vill ut – något som rör sig, formar sig, knackar mjukt och säger: "Jag är här nu. Det är dags." Det känns inte som att jag skapar något nytt, utan som att jag upptäcker något som redan finns. Ett nästa kapitel som vill bli skrivet, både i mig och på papper.

En avslutande reflektion

När jag tittar tillbaka på allt detta – de inre bilderna, neurografican, berättelsen om Lillbjörn och den nya skaparkraften som nu vill ta form – ser jag en röd tråd jag aldrig riktigt sett förut. Det handlar inte längre om att pressa fram ett svar på vad jag ska göra eller vem jag ska bli. Det handlar om att lyssna. Att ta emot. Att säga ja när något inom mig försiktigt börjar röra sig.

Det är som om livet viskar: Fortsätt så här. Du är på rätt väg.

För när vi slutar försöka styra allt med huvudet och istället låter hjärtat tala, då öppnas dörrar vi inte ens visste fanns. Skapandet blir lekfullt. Livet blir mjukt. Och vi själva blir mer oss själva än vi någonsin varit.

Kanske är det just detta som är vägen framåt. Att våga låta det inre få ta plats. Att följa flödet när det kommer. Och att lita på att det som vill uttryckas genom oss – också är det som leder oss hem.